


erase you from my heart

by poetkjh



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, changbin is an asshole, jisung and chan are smokers, seungmin hyunjin and woojin are just mentioned im sorry, so is jisung, soonie and doongie appear hihi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 06:49:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16236413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetkjh/pseuds/poetkjh
Summary: no one knows that minho and jisung hate each other, except themselves.





	erase you from my heart

Minho yawned. It was a slow day at the convenience store where he worked weekends. He needed the money to pay for his apartment in Seoul where he planned on moving for college. His parents said they’ll support him but he needs to try to get as much money as possible on his own so he can get used to living alone.

He didn’t understand why they were so worried about him – he’s good with his hands, a good speaker and he makes friends easily. The only problem would be the actual college – he’s not stupid, but studying isn’t something that comes naturally to him.

He raised his head when he heard the little bell ring due to someone opening the door.

“What’s he doing here”, Minho thought, although he’d never dare to say that out loud. Out of all the people in the entire province of Gimpo, in comes… Han Jisung.

He’s everything Minho dislikes, and Minho is everything Jisung dislikes, and that’s just how it’s been since months ago. 

“Hi. Can you give me a pack of Marlboro whites?”, Jisung said,

“Don’t you need to save your throat for your Soundcloud rapping?”, Minho said while reaching up to grab the cigarettes.

Jisung glared at him. “Why can’t you keep your mouth shut and just give me what I came to buy? I’m basically handing you your paycheck, you should be thankful.”

Minho rolled his eyes and accepted Jisung’s money. He knew the blonde boy would never leave him the change so he carefully counted the coins he needed to give him back. They exchanged ‘thank you’s with hateful tones of voice and without looking at each other in the eyes. 

Jisung left without saying goodbye.

Minho didn’t care.

 

Chan dragged his cigarette and Minho never failed to watch how the tip lights up in orange and then dies out again. He hated cigarettes and smoke, but nothing could convince Chan to stop. He had asked him times and times again why he does it, but Chan did nothing but shrug each time while lighting another one.

“Can I play some music?”, Chan asked. “I found this new music that might relax us a bit before studying.” 

“Sure, but should we really relax before studying? I feel like I’ll learn nothing.”

“Nerd”, Chan giggled. “Let’s just listen to this one song and then we can put all our strength into studying, is that ok?”

Minho agreed and watched Chan go through his music app to find the song he wanted to share with his friend. Minho really loved his friend – they’ve been friends since elementary school and, even though they grew to be a little different, he can’t imagine his life without the curly-haired boy. 

The first notes made Minho look up from his notebook. “I recognize this”, he mumbled, not loud enough for Chan to hear.

“Whose song is that?”

“It’s this Soundcloud artist I’ve recently discovered. His name is J.One.”

Minho suddenly felt his blood boil. “Let’s study.”

“Wait, it’s the best part now!”

“No. Turn it off. Let’s study.”

Chan looked at his friend oddly but said nothing and turned the music off. He wanted to ask him what happened, is it something he did, does he know J.One… but he didn’t know how. 

 

“Okay, if we keep this tempo, we’ll be done before we know it! We can take half an hour break now.”

Chan exhaled, “finally! I was so close to starting to hate Neruda. Should we go get ice cream?”

The two boys put their shoes off and started walking towards the pastry shop a few blocks away. They talked about everything except the subject they had to study – they hated high school and studying, but they knew they have to do it so they do. But they still hate it.

“Can I ask you something?”, Chan started.

“Yeah, of course”, Minho said, unsure why Chan is even asking. 

The curly boy was unsure how to put his thoughts into words, but he tried. “I’m sorry if this is a sensitive topic or something, but… Do you know J.One? I mean, I’ve known you for years and you’ve never reacted like this to anything.”

He saw the other boy sigh and avoid eye-contact. How could Minho have something with someone without his best friend knowing? He knows he’s not the best friend in the world, but he thinks he’s good. Okayish, at worst. He felt kind of hurt.

But not as hurt as Minho was.

“His real name is Jisung. We… We were friends, kind of. And then he hurt me. And we stopped talking. And now we hate each other. He hates everything I want to achieve in life, and I hate everything he does. I don’t have a better explanation than that. And I don’t want to talk about it. I never thought it was that important, so I never mentioned it.”

“How come you had a friend that I didn’t know about?”

“As I said – he’s unimportant.”

“But… He was important to you at some point if he hurt you.” Chan stuttered, hoping this wouldn’t make his friend angry.

“Was. Do you want a lollipop?”, Minho asked while standing up, waiting before heading towards the kitchen. He needed some air – he’s never mentioned Jisung to anyone. He thought he’d never have to talk about him – it was more than enough that he had to see him almost every day at school.

“Sure”, Chan smiled.

Minho left the room and took a deep breath. He hated Jisung. He hated Jisung for not being affected by the argument he had with Minho, not even a bit. He was unphased – he probably never even took a good look at the other boy. But he… God, Minho was hurt. He hated seeing Jisung at school; hated that he was loved by other people, even by his friends. He hated that his best friend enjoyed listening to his music.

But Minho can’t deny – it was good. He just can’t say it out loud.

 

The cafeteria was filled with noise – hundreds of students talking among each other, choir kids singing for no other reason than to show off their talent, the “cool” kids blasting music on speakers. Minho hated it. He just wanted to talk to his friends without having to raise his voice so loud that the seven tables around them could hear him.

“Hey Min… Chan told me you have an enemy?” 

Minho hated how he could hear his smile in everything Jeongin said. The boy was the embodiment of the sun and all you ever wanted to do was to cuddle him. Although he was a freshman, he still hung out with Minho and Chan – they said he’s their adopted son and the boy just went with it. I mean, would you say no to hanging out with seniors?

“I don’t have an enemy! He just hates me and I hate him back.”

“That’s kind of the definition of an enemy, isn’t it?”, Minho heard Felix’s broken Korean and glared at him. Another one of his and Chan’s adopted sons – Chan said they need to adopt him because he’s Australian and Chan has a soft spot for them because he was born there, but he moved to Korea right before elementary school.

Thank God he did, Minho always thought.

“Shut up, Felix, no. I don’t want to talk about him, oh my God. That’s why I’ve never mentioned him.”

“Is that him?”, Chan asked looking at something behind Minho.

“I won’t turn around.”

“Oh, he’s cute! Why didn’t you tell us he’s cute?”

“Again, shut up, Felix.”

Minho continued to eat his food, regretting reacting like that yesterday when Chan played the song. He hates how Jisung brings out negative reactions out of him; how he brings any kind of reactions out of him, actually. He wished he could not care. 

Jisung didn’t care. 

 

 

“Good morning, mom!”, Minho said, walking into the kitchen. It was a Sunday – he has barely survived the week. Chan kept pointing out Jisung whenever he saw him in the hallway and Felix and Jeongin kept pretending they’re each other’s archenemy. And on all that, he worked almost the entire day yesterday, and he had to leave for work immediately after breakfast. Minho was tired, both mentally and physically. 

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead”, Minho’s mom said, smiling. She was making pancakes – Minho could recognize that smell everywhere in the world. He gave her a back-hug and kissed her cheek. 

As he sat on the chair and unlocked his phone to see did he miss anything since last night, his mom started speaking. “Min, sweetie, can I ask you for a favor?”

The boy nodded, no questions asked. He trusted his mom and he knew she’d never make him do something he wouldn’t want to do.

At least every time until this one.

“Mrs. Han called me – you know her son, Jisung?” Minho started shaking slightly. He didn’t like the sound of this.

His mom continued, “she knows we have an extra room and she asked if they could spend the night at our place while their house is being decontaminated? I’m not sure what exactly happened but they’ve got a swarm of ants in their house and they can’t get rid of it in any other way. They say it’s their dog’s fault but I’m kind of suspicious of her husband…”. She trailed off, as she always does.

“Okay, what do I have to do?”

Minho hoped she wouldn’t say it. 

“Well, would you mind if Jisung slept in your room?”

And she said it.

And Minho wanted to run away. Or scream. Or rip his hair out. 

But instead, he looked at her and said, “no, mom. It won’t be a problem.” Even though he knew it will, surely, be a problem.

 

“I swear, my life is turning into a K-drama with a bad plot. If this becomes an enemies to lovers alternate universe, feel free to kick me in the balls. All three of you. In a row.”

“Min, I’m sure it won’t be like that. And I’m sure it won’t be that bad”, Jeongin said, nuzzling his head into Minho’s shoulder. It was impossible to stay mad at anyone when the cutest boy alive acted like this. So he hugged him and said it’ll all be okay, even though he believed in the opposite.

“Yeah, Min, I mean… He’s staying for one night, right? Night. And what do you do at night? You sleep. You won’t even have to talk to him”, Felix said, smiling. 

Minho thought about that for a second. “You’re right. Oh my God, you’re right. I won’t even have to talk to him. I’ll just tell him where the bathroom is, give him a mattress and we won’t say another word.” 

Everything actually could be okay.

“You’ll give him a mattress? Ow, I was hoping for some of that “there was only one bed and they woke up cuddling” shit”, Chan made a sad face and if Minho had one nerve less, he would’ve hit him in the face with the mash potatoes the cafeteria served that day. 

“Absolutely not. My room is big enough to give him a mattress, and even if there wasn’t enough room for that, my bed is still too small for two people. He’d sleep on the floor.”

“I think you’re forgetting you’re short and he’s even shorter than you”, Jeongin said. As cute as he is, he can be the evilest one and no one will get mad at him because it’s him.

“Okay, but how exactly do you know his height?”

“We walked past him and noticed he’s shorter than all of us. I can’t believe your archenemy is shorter than me, the baby,” Jeongin grinned evilly. 

Minho sighed. “He’s not my archenemy but whatever. He’s tiny, yes. He still wouldn’t get to sleep in my bed, even if he was shorter than your ten-year-old sister.”

“Ouch”, all the other boys replied and Minho giggled.

 

The sky was fading from dark blue to light purple as Minho walked home from school. The only highlight of having school in the afternoon were the evening walks he took alone, listening to relaxing music. Evening like those made him become even more sure in the decision he made – when he moves to Seoul, he’ll try to get accepted into an entertainment company. 

He liked dancing, but not that he’d ever tell anyone. It was his own thing – he danced when he was home alone. When he blasted 2PM’s songs on the loudest volume possible and felt the rhythm move his body.

Something touched his shoulder and he turned around. Jisung’s blonde head showed up before his eyes. He refrained himself from rolling them.

“Hey, Minho. Heard I have to spend the night at your place so I’m here to bond with you. Is that okay or should I leave you to listen to your idols?”, Jisung grinned.

“No. Let’s bond”, Minho said, knowing they’d walk in silence until they reach his house.

“So, what’s up with you? Still hate me?”

“I don’t hate you nearly as much as you hate me.”

They fell silent. Minho looked at the sky which was now turning from purple to pink – and the moon appeared. He loved the moon. It made him feel calm.

He felt Jisung wanted to say something – he saw him nervously rub his hands against each other, he saw his lips opening and closing from the corner of his eye. But he didn’t say anything. He just lit a cigarette and they walked in silence.

“Okay”, Minho uttered when they were already on his parents’ property, “you’ll sleep on the floor of my room. I’ll give you a mattress and blankets, no worries there. I’ll show you where the bathroom is, my mom will give you food and anything else you might need, other than that, we won’t talk.”

Jisung nodded, suddenly too nervous to say anything. He didn’t know why Minho was being so nice to him after everything that happened.

 

“hey guys, i just got to minho’s place. hes making me sleep on the floor but at least he gave me a mattress lmao”, Jisung texted his friends’ groupchat. They told him to update them on everything that happens during the night.

“omg imagine if he didnt lmaoooo that wouldve been such a power move”, Hyunjin replied. 

“pls that boy is too nice to actually mistreat jisung. i saw him with that freshman boy that was so cute”, he got another text, this time from Woojin.

“…anyway… what are u guys up to?”, Jisung texted, hoping at least one of them could talk to him.

“im studying for a test ugh i took a break just to reply to you”, Woojin said. Of course he had to study.

“and i have a date”, Hyunjin texted, adding a bunch of heart-eyes emojis. 

“oh?????? with who?????”

“you dont know him hihi anyway bye wish me luck”

“Asshole”, Jisung thought. He bet it was Seungmin – he saw the way he was looking at him throughout the last three months. If it was actually him, he’ll be proud of Hyunjin for finally growing the balls to ask him out. 

But he realized he had no one to talk to.

“Minho?”, Jisung started when he saw the taller boy enter the room. The boy did nothing but say “mm” to acknowledge Jisung’s call. “Do you have a balcony?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I need a smoke.”

“Still ruining your throat, huh?”

“Just like you’ll ruin your life when you move to Seoul but that’s none of my business, right?”

Minho was starting to get angry. “Watch your mouth or you’ll sleep on the balcony instead of just smoking there.”

“Aw, you’re still feisty”, Jisung smiled ironically. “Too bad it doesn’t affect me at all. It just makes you mad. Anyway, the balcony?”

Minho pointed at the door and considered the idea to lock him out. God, he hated him. He hated him for making him like him – not romantically, but as a person. He wanted to be his friend. And then Jisung stomped all over him and hurt him. And now he’s acting as if it’s all Minho’s fault. He was mad and one conversation with Jisung away from begging his mom to sleep on her bedroom floor. He was sure his dad would hate that but it’s not like Minho would love it.

He just wanted to be far away from Jisung.

“You stink”, Minho said when Jisung entered the room again and he felt his nose get irritated by the smell.

“What a coincidence, so do you.”

“Go take a shower otherwise you’re not sleeping in my room.”

Jisung just rolled his eyes and started changing into shorts and an old t-shirt. Minho was annoyed – how did everything the blonde boy does manage to make his blood boil?

“I’ll watch some videos to calm down”, he thought and tried to block Jisung’s existence from his mind, as he did every day before. But this time was different – Jisung tried his best to make his presence known. He kept asking him questions, commenting everything he did, laughing at his phone and making Minho irritated. He was ready to cut his ears off.

Sometime around 11pm, they both fell asleep.

 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL EVERLOVING FUCK”, Jisung screamed. Minho blinked. He reached for his phone – 3:34am. 

“What are you screaming about?”, he said, his voice rough from being just woken up.

Jisung was beside himself, “something just fucking stepped on me! What the fuck, Minho, do you have ghosts or something?”

Minho giggled. “It’s just my cat. Coward”, he said and reached to cuddle Doongie. 

“You have a gremlin in your house and you didn’t inform me before it made me almost shit myself?” 

“I mean, it’s your fault for being a coward. It’s just a cute kitty”, Minho said and tried going back to sleep.

“What did you say is its name?”

“Doongie. I have another one called Soonie, so don’t be shocked if something else steps on you. Even if Soonie doesn’t, I might step on you, just for the fun of it.”

“Har har”, Jisung said. “Cats are cute, but not at almost 4am on a school night. Especially when you don’t expect them. I almost dropkicked it.”

“Yeah, you two are about the same height – ideal for dropkicking. But I think Doongie would sooner dropkick you.”

“No, it wouldn’t? I’m obviously stronger.”

“Ha, you wish.”

Jisung wanted to say something else, but he couldn’t. He felt how tired Minho was. He imagined him cuddling the cat, soft hair touching his cheek, his fingers softly circling the hair on her head.

He needed a smoke.

“If you step on my cat, I’ll throw you off the balcony”, Minho said, not even opening his eyes, but feeling Jisung’s movement. He also heard him almost break something, but he chose to ignore it.

“Bold of you to assume you could push me.”

“With your upper body strength, Jeongin could push you.”

“Jeongin? Who’s that?”

“Nevermind”, Minho mumbled and cuddled up to Doongie.

And Jisung saw it – the only light falling on Minho was moonlight, but it was bright enough to see how he scrunched his nose, how his cheek fell into the soft hair of the cat’s back, how his long eyelashes fell on his cheekbones. His heart jumped and he turned around to go take a smoke.

 

It was 6am. Thank God school started at 1pm, otherwise Jisung would’ve been fucked.

He never fell back asleep after the cat incident – he kept thinking about Minho’s cheeks. Minho’s rough voice which was the result of being woken up at 3am. Minho’s soft side; him cuddling up to the cat he called Doongie. Soft. Soft, soft, soft. Jisung couldn’t take it.

“guys. i need to talk to someone”, he texted the gc. He didn’t expect anyone to reply, considering it was 6am, but he did.

“ok, youre all asleep so ill just rant for a bit. ok so minho is really cute. his cat almost made me have a heart attack and im not even mad bc i saw him cuddle with it and im… idk. i feel bad that we grew apart. well its not that we grew apart its that I was an asshole and hurt him and i feel awful”, he pressed send before he could change his mind and locked his phone.

He wanted to sleep more, but he couldn’t. Whenever he closed his eyes, the image of Minho cuddling the cat emerged before his eyes. He was going crazy. 

And he needed another smoke. Fuck.

 

“Why did we ever start hating each other?”

Jisung thought he was hallucinating when he heard Minho’s soft voice from somewhere above him. He was certain he dreamt it; that his sleep-deprived brain was playing games with him. 

But something inside him knew Minho really said it, thinking Jisung was asleep.

“I never really hated you”, Jisung mumbled – quietly, but loudly enough for Minho to hear.

Minho never replied.

 

“I saw you came to school together”, Jeongin giggled, simultaneously dodging Minho’s attempt to hit him.

He was so tired. “Yes. Our moms thought it’d be a good idea.” 

He barely slept last night, but he was sure he slept more than Jisung. The blonde boy looked pale and worn out when they woke up at almost 10am. Minho was sure that the boy barely slept – he kept yawning and the bags under his eyes looked horrible.

Was the mattress uncomfortable? Were Soonie and Doongie stepping on him the entire night? Was he uncomfortable sleeping in the same room as Minho?

Did he mean what he said?

As soon as Felix and Jeongin went their own way, Minho started telling Chan what happened – how he woke up around 8am and looked at Jisung sleeping peacefully and started thinking out loud. But Jisung wasn’t sleeping – he was just really good at pretending to be asleep.

“And then he said, “I never really hated you” and I don’t know what to think. Do you think he meant it? I’m not sure if he even said it anymore…”

“Why did you even start hating each other?”, Chan asked carefully, slowly rubbing his best friend’s hand. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, I just… I don’t understand? You were friends… I can’t imagine something so awful that would cause this situation.”

Minho took a deep breath. He’s never told anyone anything about this. He didn’t even write it down in his diary – he chose to forget everything related to Jisung and he hated that the feelings started resurfacing. He didn’t want this – he didn’t want to have anything to do with him. 

“We were really close. We talked online and we knew who we were but we never talked in real life. I enjoyed talking to him and I told him something I’ve never told anyone else.” Minho paused. 

“Did you come out to him before you came out to us?”, Chan asked carefully.

Minho shook his head. “Thankfully, no. I told him that I want to move to Seoul to become an idol. Not just to study there. I know it’s stupid but I want to do it. And he thinks it’s stupid, too. He told me I’ll never succeed and that it’s dumb to even try.”

Chan blinked. “Isn’t he a SoundCloud rapper?”

“Yeah”, Minho laughed. “He’s such an idiot.”

“You say that with a loving tone.”

Minho blushed. “No. He hates me. And I hate him.”

“But wait”, Chan said. “Why does he hate you more than you hate him if he hurt you?”

The younger boy blinked, not breaking eye contact. He didn’t have an answer to this. He doesn’t remember their fight clearly. Many things have been said. 

“I don’t know. But he said he never really hated me? At least I think he said that. I’m so confused. I don’t want to cling to that one thing he might’ve mumbled in his sleep, thinking about something completely different, but…”

“But?”

Chan squeezed Minho’s hand tighter, to let him know he’s there for him. He loved his best friend with his whole heart and he wanted nothing but happiness for him.

“But… I really liked him. I enjoyed talking to him and I was really hurt when he said all that. And I’m not sure if I want to be friends with him again or not, but I sure wish we didn’t fight.”

“Oh, Min”, Chan hugged the dark-haired boy. 

 

Jisung couldn’t stop thinking about Minho.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Minho’s soft voice in the middle of the night, speaking up just because he thought no one could hear him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the tenderness in his actions towards his cats; about how softly his cheek fell onto the cat’s fur.

“Are you okay?”, Jisung’s brother asked him. “You seem off.”

“I’m okay, Bin.”

“No, you’re not. Wanna talk? Wanna rap about it?” Changbin grinned. It was all about rapping to him.

Truth be told, Jisung didn’t really like it very much. He preferred singing.  
That’s why he snapped at Minho that day. And he hated himself for it – he hated himself for projecting his own insecurities onto other people.

“I’m good, Bin. I have to go to school soon”, Jisung stood up from the kitchen table and went to his room. 

He needed a smoke.

“Why did we ever start hating each other” was the only thing going through his head. 

Jisung hurt him. He knew he did. He did it on purpose but also accidentally – he wasn’t thinking straight. He doubts Minho would understand if he explained.

If he explained how he wanted to become an idol since he was twelve – since he sang along to Girls’ Generation songs and discovered he actually has a nice voice. How it was his wish to move from this middle of nowhere to Seoul and start going to auditions, in hopes someone would accept him. 

How he couldn’t do that because his brother wanted him to rap.

And he hated everything about it because Changbin didn’t even live with him – he lived in a dorm next to his college, but he still didn’t let Jisung “ruin his life” by going to Seoul to pursue his “idol career”. He had nothing to do with Jisung’s life – he just showed up every now and then to give him some new lyrics, a new beat to work on. 

He wished he could back out, but he couldn’t break his brother’s heart, even though his brother was breaking his.

 

“Hey loser”, Jisung playfully punched Minho’s shoulder as he saw him walk down the corridor alone. He wondered where his friends were – he never parts with them. It’s almost impossible to catch Minho without at least Chan.

Minho looked up and met the blond boy’s eyes. “You again?”, he said, but there was no hate in his voice. He wasn’t even annoyed. He just said it, as if he wishes the interaction would end soon.  
“Do you want me to leave?”, Jisung said.

It fell silent. As Minho was looking into Jisung’s eyes that were so close to averting anywhere but the dark-haired boy, but decided to maintain the eye contact, they both felt that they miss each other. 

Minho sighed. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll leave then.” Jisung looked at Minho one more time and turned around. 

They both spent the rest of the day thinking about these two minutes, as if they’re replaying them over and over again in their minds. Wishing they said something else, wishing they hadn’t parted.

 

Minho couldn’t fall asleep. 

He thought about how Jisung was in his room just a few days ago. How that was the perfect opportunity to talk things through, to tell him how he felt, instead of insulting him as he did every other time.

But he couldn’t. He was a coward who was too scared to express his mind, and even more scared to let anyone know how he feels. He had to force himself to tell Chan about what happened and he still hasn’t told him the entire truth. 

He spent months hating Jisung. Not really hating, but resenting him – for being rude towards him, for spitting on everything Minho’s been working for, for insulting him, even though they were close. He thought he could trust him, but the blond boy broke that trust in a second. But now… For some reason, he wants everything to be as it was. He wants them to be friends again, even though he is aware no one has ever hurt him like Jisung has.

He was such a fucking mess.

 

Jisung wasn’t feeling any better, either.

He had no one to talk to – Woojin had to study so he didn’t want to be a burden, and Hyunjin looked so happy with Seungmin, Jisung didn’t want to ruin it with his own dumb problems.

They are dumb. He could easily fix them; only if he wasn’t a coward.

Only if he could tell Minho he wants to be his friend again. If he could apologize for being a jerk and tell him he was an insecure piece of shit who can’t deal with his emotions. But would Minho accept his apology? Would he want to be friends with someone who treated him like that?

He took a deep breath. And then he lit another cigarette.

 

“You really should stop smoking.”

Minho didn’t know what it was that kept pulling him towards Jisung, but some kind of force he couldn’t describe made him come up to Jisung and start talking to him. He was nervous – “why am I doing this”, he kept thinking – but it somehow felt right.

The blond boy looked up while blowing the smoke away. “Why?” He maintained eye contact, thinking about how good Minho looked with his hair pushed backwards so it showed his forehead. Why did he have to look so good? Be so polite? Talk to him even though he had no reason to even look at him?

“On the contrary to the popular belief, I don’t consider you my archenemy and I don’t want you to die.”

It was so simple – he just said it like that, without any emotions in his voice – but it made Jisung’s heart clench. “I don’t consider you my archenemy.” It wasn’t even an “I like you”, or “I want to be friends with you.” It was merely an “I don’t hate you”.

Enough for Jisung to spend the rest of the day smiling.

“I appreciate that. However, I do want to die, so…”, he trailed off and dragged another smoke. He did want to die at that moment – he didn’t deserve to be treated this nicely by the boy he hurt. 

Minho was supposed to never want to see him again.

“Don’t say that”, the dark-haired boy whispered.

Jisung looked at Minho in the eyes. “Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it and you know it better than anyone. I’m a piece of shit person and and I was even shittier towards you. I don’t get it.” He merely whispered the last words – something made him want to cry, but he didn’t want to appear weak.

Minho didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know either. He was fully aware of how much Jisung hurt him and how badly he took it. But on the other hand, he cared about him. He wanted him to be happy and he tried bringing that happiness towards him.

“Honestly?” Jisung nodded. “I don’t know either”, Minho whispered. “It’s just… I know how much you hurt me. It was almost unbearable. But lately I’ve been thinking about the times before the fight and… I don’t know. Maybe I miss you. I’m not sure either. Ugh, I’m rambling. Maybe I should leave”, he turned around to leave.

“Don’t.”

Minho stopped, unsure. “Why do I feel like we’re in a bad K-drama”, Minho giggled, trying to break the tension that formed between them. 

Jisung giggled as well. “Maybe we are. But Minho… I miss you, too. I… I don’t actually hate you. I never did. I know you thought I do, but I… I just snapped that day because of my own frustrations. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend, but I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I could never. You’re an angel. That’s all. I’ll leave now, ok?”

“No, not okay. We need to talk this out like adults. No leaving.”

Jisung nodded and they talked like adults. They skipped a few lessons (and got into some minor trouble because of it), got millions of texts from their best friends, but they talked things through. They cried, they hugged, they argued.  
But they decided not to hate each other and not to fight.

“So… Are we friends again?”, Jisung asked, with a small voice; afraid of Minho saying no.

“Yes. We need to try again. I really liked talking to you when we weren’t insulting each other”, the dark-haired boy giggled.

Jisung smiled, “me too.”

 

“You’re friends? Ugh, boring”, Jeongin said before shoving fries in his mouth. 

Felix rolled his eyes. “I know, right? I was here for the drama.”

Minho told them what happened during lunch the next day – he didn’t want to text them something so important. 

“Will he be joining us for lunch from now on?”, Chan asked.

Minho blinked. “I- I don’t know? I didn’t ask. Do you think he’d want to?”

“OH MY GOD! FELIX!!!”, Jeongin screamed out of nowhere. “Minho-hyung has a crush”, he whispered dramatically, loudly enough for the table to hear.

“WHAT? No! I do not.” Minho was sure he just blushed. But he was also sure he doesn’t have a crush on Jisung.

Chan giggled. “I hate to break this to you, man, but you kind of do.”

“I don’t!! We just started being friends again, please don’t make it weird. I don’t want to lose him again.”

“Yeah, because you’ve got a big fat gay crush on him”, Felix giggled and Jeongin joined him before Chan told them to stop.

Minho was ready to throw himself out the window.

 

“hey sung”

“hey min”, Jisung replied, smiling. He wasn’t expecting a text from Minho, but his heart jumped when he saw the notification.

“do u want to sit at our table during lunch tomorrow?” Minho barely pressed send. He felt nervous and his entire body was shaking – but he closed his eyes and pressed the little arrow. And then he immediately locked his phone and did something else to distract himself. 

“yeah sure!! it’ll be fun :D”, Jisung texted casually although he felt a zillion butterflies in his stomach. Minho wanted to hang out with him during lunch? He doubted Hyunjin would mind since all he sees is Seungmin, anyway. 

Jisung felt happy, for the first time in a while.

 

Lunch was awkward, to say the least.

Jeongin and Felix kept glancing at each other whenever Minho and Jisung interacted. Minho was too scared to even talk to Jisung because of the three boys looking at them. Chan tried to talk to the blond boy to break the tension, but it just made things more awkward.

Minho couldn’t wait for the next lesion, for the first time in his life.

 

“min”, Jisung sent Minho that evening.

“yeah, sung?”

“i was wondering”

“yeah?”

“do u want to go out tomorrow after school? without ur friends making things awkward”

“u think it wont be awkward with just the two of us?”

“i’ll do my best to make it not awkward :D”

“yeah, okay. let’s go out tomorrow”, Minho sent Jisung and them proceeded to scream into his pillow.

 

The entire day at school was a blur for the both of them. Chemistry this, English that, Korean literature this… They just wanted the last lesson to be over, which lasted for at least seven eons, they were sure. The hand on the clock wasn’t moving – they both tried to use their telekinetic powers to move it, but in vain.

Every second lasted for fifteen years and every word the teacher said was painful for their ears.

They agreed to meet after the last period and go to a little cozy burger place a few blocks away from their school. Minho wore his best striped shirt and Jisung didn’t wear black for the first time in months. 

Was it a date? They didn’t know. Minho called it a hangout when Jeongin asked: “hyung, are you two going on a date?” with an evil grin on his face, but in his heart he hoped it wasn’t just that. He’d never tell that to anyone, though. 

“Hey”, Jisung smiled as soon as he saw Minho. The other boy smiled at him. “Let’s go.”

They walked, side by side, not talking. 

“You promised it wouldn’t be awkward”, Minho half-joked. 

Jisung blinked. “Oh, shit, right. Sorry. Uhh… What’s your favorite color?”

“Really? That’s your best shot?”

“Yeah…”

Minho giggled. “You’re cute. It’s mint.” In Minho’s defense, the blond boy was really cute. He looked sad and confused and his giant cheeks looked even bigger now that he was pouting and Minho kind of, sort of, maybe… surely… wanted to squish them. 

Jisung, however, wasn’t giggling. His eyes spread wide and he couldn’t believe his ears. Cute? Jisung? No. Impossible. “Mint? Interesting?”, he tried playing it cool and not as if his heart was beating double the normal rate. 

“What’s yours?”

“Guess”, Jisung stuck his tongue out. 

Minho looked at the boy and thought hard. Jisung’s eyes were wide and expectant – he was hoping the other boy would guess correctly. “Yellow”, Minho blurted out after seeing the yellow specks in the shorter boy’s iris. 

“Correct”, Jisung said shyly.

Minho smiled widely. “Really? I can’t believe it!”

In all honesty, it wasn’t yellow. He didn’t even have a favorite color – but he knew that whatever Minho said would become his favorite color. Especially because he sounded so excited; so certain that it’s yellow. “Well, it is!”

Both of them laughed. The conversation felt natural afterwards. Awkward silence was an unknown term in their vocabulary books – the words just kept flowing.

Jisung mocked Minho when he spilled ketchup all over his palm and Minho left that same ketchup on Jisung’s face. They almost got kicked out from the burger place, but it was worth it. They both thought it was worth it seeing the other boy laugh.

“It’s getting late, should we go?”, Minho asked Jisung. “We do have school tomorrow.”

“Coward”, Jisung said, but agreed to go – he even agreed to walk the boy home.

They were standing in front of Minho’s house and Jisung was just getting ready to say goodbye and leave, when he felt Minho’s lips on his. They were soft. 

He kissed him back.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked you”, Minho said when he pulled away.

Jisung looked at him. “I didn’t mind.”

“Well…”, Minho started shyly. “Would you mind if I did it again?”

“Not at all”, Jisung smiled and waited for Minho to lean in again. This time the kiss was deeper – Jisung put his arms around Minho’s neck while the other boy hugged him around the waist and pulled him closer and closer. The blond boy was in heaven. He let Minho’s tongue enter his mouth and it felt so good, Jisung didn’t want it to ever end. His stomach was invaded by butterflies, but he wasn’t nervous. 

He was just happy. He didn’t want this feeling to ever end – he wanted to spend his entire life feeling like he was floating, while Minho’s lips are on his, while Minho’s arms around his waist. 

Everything felt right.

They pulled apart, gasping for air. “Jisung”, Minho said. 

“Yeah?”

“Do you…”, he started, but Jisung cut him off. “Please don’t”, the blond boy said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve the last five minutes, I don’t deserve this entire day. I don’t deserve your friendship, or even your forgiveness to begin with. So, whatever you were going to ask, don’t.”

“Jisung, you’re incredibly dumb. Do you think I’d spend the entire day with you if you didn’t “deserve it”? You’re a wonderful person and I forgave you because you explained yourself and I understood. You shouldn’t cling onto that anymore. I genuinely like you. I tried erasing you from my heart, but obviously I couldn’t. So please… Don’t say anything dumb like that ever again.”

“But I don’t deserve it!”, Jisung felt frustrated. Why didn’t Minho understand what he was trying to say?

Minho pecked Jisung’s forehead. “Okay. I won’t force you until you’re ready. But I enjoyed out date and I enjoyed kissing you.”

“I-it was a date?”, Jisung stuttered.

“Unless you don’t want it to be.”

“I do”, Jisung confessed. Minho giggled, “God, you’re cute.”

“Minho?”, Jisung said. 

The taller boy nodded, still hugging Jisung. He didn’t have the strength to part.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Hey, I was going to ask you that and you said I couldn’t! Loser!”, Minho frowned.

Jisung smiled. “Who’s the cute one now?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Y-your who now?”, Jisung felt his heart skip beats.

As Minho leaned in to kiss him, Jisung couldn’t understand what he has done that made him this lucky. He doesn’t deserve any of this – he doesn’t deserve Minho kissing him like this, grasping onto his t-shirt like this. Minho shouldn’t even waste the time to look at him. 

When they pulled apart, Minho smiled. “My boyfriend, Han Jisung. The best SoundCloud rapper out there.”

Jisung punched Minho in the arm. “Loser. Catch me writing a song about you.”

“Oh, please do. And catch me writing one about you when I become a famous idol.”

“Don’t forget me when you’re famous”, Jisung joked.

“Never”, Minho whispered and kissed Jisung one more time. And another one. He kept kissing him until the only light in the street was coming from Jisung’s eyes when he looked at him – and he got addicted to the way they shined.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this mess!! i hope you liked it! i wanted to make it chaptered but my writing isn't good enough for that sigh. anyway, let me know what you think!


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